


Limbo

by MorbidOptimist



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: F/F, allusions to bondage & overly kinky intercourse, experimental storytelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 05:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 6,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9108238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorbidOptimist/pseuds/MorbidOptimist
Summary: Some things just have a way of happening, whether you want them to or not. All that's really left is the struggle.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Moved this over from my old fanficnet account; it was originally published on 06-07-12. There are minor edits but it remains largely unchanged; quotes included. 
> 
> Also, the chapters following the first, lead up to the first chapter, but the time line is intentionally vague.

She wasn't worried about the bruises; those had already become like skeletons silently shoved into the closet –rumors hushed into silent observance. Most of the others had already assumed what was happening and none of them dared to speak of it for propriety's sake, not that she minded any. It wasn't really their business anyway. Wally certainly never said a word about it, though she knew it hurt him the odd times he came around to find she wasn't there. And when she begged a few days reprieve and he caught sight of the various scrapes and bruises rippling across her flesh, he gallantly took care of his own needs and left well enough alone.

He was a good man, not exactly Mr. Perfect, but a  _ good _ man. He didn't understand her need to continually dabble in the darkness, but he never stopped her from doing so –for which she was thankful. In return she never asked what he did on his missions away and never scolded him for the various lipstick traces that would sometimes appear on his collar. He never crossed the line though she knew -the line that she had been dancing on for months.

It wasn't the bruises that worried her at all… No, it was the way her heart fluttered whenever Raven slowly kissed her way up her thigh while her fingers dug into her hips before those pearly teeth began tugging her lips so gently that it was absolutely  _ maddening _ .

Jinx worried her bit as the sting of the ice dribbled its way along her abdomen. She had lost the battle for dominance today, and such she would be at her partner's mercy for the rest of the evening. She absently wished the empath hadn't used the blindfold; she rather would have liked to see the calm, slightly amused expression that she would no doubt be sporting.

They both had a need for this, for whatever  _ this _ was. The darkness in each of them cried out for release and demanded their itches be scratched, and bloodily if possible. That's what they had told themselves when they had started, that it was just another form of stress relief. They had both spent so long dancing in traffic that they couldn't stand keeping to the sidewalk without screaming. It had been in the baby stages back then of course, with petty robberies and rushed sparring matches, when they pitted themselves against each other for all the wrong reasons.

Maybe that was why no one questioned them.

_ This _ .

They had seen it coming.

The dance had changed the moment they had spent their first night moving soft and slow, when the red marks left by razor blades had been replaced with lipstick.

They had danced far too deep into the darkness together to turn back now. 

They had felt far too many things to curb the tides of emotion now.

She shivered as the cube reached its destination, lingering slightly before changing course to swirl across her chest. She found herself both anticipating and dreading the moment when the searing cold of the ice would be replaced by the scorching heat of wax.

No, it wasn't the bruises that scared her at all.

Her breath hitched as the empath placed a kiss on her temple while dripping the wax.

It was the mutual understanding that eventually darkness would overcome her and she wouldn't lift a finger to stop it. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All I kept thinking about, over and over, was 'You can't live forever; you can't live forever."  
> -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

She had seen that look once before, worn by children cradling smooth but heavy metal firearms in their warm fleshy palms, desperate not to pull the trigger, but distraught in their need to fill an ache that they couldn't place.

It was a terrifying realization, startling at best and somewhat disheartening at worst.

The grime of gutter rats and gravel worn kids should never have made its way across the Titan's beautiful features, she thought; the girl was far more suited for the blue collared drudgery of the almost privileged -the sprinkling of boredom on dignified grace.

In that moment she pictured the empath in a different place, a different time, where roles were changed and scattered. 

She could so easily see how her adversary could have been someone else. Anyone else. A cop perhaps. A nurse. A bartender. And then with a small smirk, a petty thief, a bank robber, or an executioner. All with violet eyes and a grim set mouth.

And as another drop of blood brimmed from the Titan's lip, and trailed down her dirt washed chin, Jinx wondered for the first time if egging the girl on had somehow been a mistake.

Her shoulder was bruised, pretty badly this time she admitted silently; it seared tightly when she tried to hoist herself up, aware that the empath had yet to do the same.

As she stood, leaning on the overthrown bus for support with a slight hiss as warped jagged metal pressed into her back, her adversary near mirrored her pose, only half standing by her hand's firm pressure on the brick behind her. Her other hand clutched her side, her bruised ribs were likely sucking her breath away.

Jinx inhaled sharply and offered a hesitant shrug, fully knowing that as soon as the girl regained her footing, that she was going to lose their game. Painfully, if the marred bus behind her was any indicator.

The look in the empath's eyes failed to dwindle, but her mouth pulled into a tight little frown, reminding the hex caster of an over stressed housewife taking care of baggage claims while small children ran rampant underfoot. She would have smiled at the thought, were it to have occurred any time else, but as it was she found herself refraining.

A few seconds ticked by. Slowly.

And when Raven finally stood, her expression neutral, her hands tucking the corners of her cape behind her, she gave a nod at the bus and then flicked her gaze back to the hexcaster.

Jinx swallowed, the feeling of it dry and raspy against her throat, and braced herself.

The Titan turned and vanished into the brick behind her.

When Jinx was able to breathe again, she let out a choked sob.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 'She wants something to love, I think,' said the cat. 'Something that isn't her. She might want something to eat as well. It's hard to tell with creatures like that.'  
> \- Neil Gaiman, Coraline

A gritted teeth, brows furrowed, fist clenched hiss escaped through her lips as she ran past the sidewalk and into the alleyways.

She ignored the pressure building in the base of her lungs and continued dodging overturned trash cans and arrays of tattered city carnage. She had only seconds to reach a way out and if she didn't find one soon she would collapse and she would lose yet again, a thought that drove her to push on, gaining extra speed that she used to begin climbing _up_ as much as she was moving forward. When her hands found purchase on the metal grating of a fire escape she grinned and vaulted up without a second thought. It was only in the first few moments of her glancing around that she quickly realized the error of her ways.

She was trapped.

And just as the thought hit her a light brushing of fabric was heard from behind her.

She whipped around to see the psion, and from the shouts down below the rest of the team couldn't have been too far behind, taking care of the remainder of her own gang.

She gulped down much-needed breath and smiled as reckless rebellion flowed through her veins. The empath smiled too, she noticed, though the corners of her mouth were sharp and her eyes seemed wicked, the rest of her face cast in the grim darkness produced by her cloak.

"Well ring-a-ding-ding Raven," catcalled the hexcaster, "Time for a kiss off already?"

"Classy. How very _'_ gangster' of you," the empath replied, darkness swiftly encasing her hands; “I’m sure all the other kids are impressed.”

Time was clearly something the psion was sick of giving her, Jinx noted.

"Well all the keen dames are, ain't they dolly bird?" she replied, her hands quickly following suit.

"Perhaps; although I might've sprung for something a bit less wordy myself."

"Says the girl with the catchphrase bigger that she is."

The insult to her height didn't go unnoticed and as planned, the Titan lunged forward, the almost pleasant part of the bantering phase of their relationship ending abruptly in a tangle of limbs and cement.

If she had been watching the fight from afar, she would have been amazed at how inelegant it was. Energy blasts and hexes traded for punches and kicks which then quickly turned into a mess of grabbing and clawing and harsh shoves. She was mildly surprised that teeth were not being involved, although both parties bared them as if in warning. The Titan's expression was by far more intimidating, as she had an extra set of teeth, but Jinx felt she made up for it in the tenacity department.

It felt like a brawl in one of her school exercises, and she was sure she was bleeding if not heavily bruised in several places. She was willing to bet that she had pegged the Titan as well, judging by the ferocity of her actions.

There was a sharp thought shattering pain that erupted along her jaw that swiftly put an end to her traces of thought and the empath used the opportunity to pull the concrete from under her.

It was only when the empath managed to pin her that the near feralness of their fight was ceased.

"If you wanted to sweep me off my feet you could have just invited me to dinner."

Instead of recoiling as she was expecting the Titan grinned, her eyes misting over in red as her teeth grew sharper.

She leaned in closer and whispered, "But what if you _are_ dinner?"

The deep-throated purr in the empath's voice sent a shiver along her spine, though she chose to pin it on the fading adrenalin. She tried to swallow but found she couldn't, and tried not to stare into the empath's crimson eyes as her heart began to race.

The hexcaster didn't doubt that it wasn't beyond the girl to end her, in any manner of ways as she saw fit, just as she knew that there was a thin line drawn in the sand as to how close she'd come to it.

"Tell me Jinx, are you more partial to your left arm or your right?"

"If I say left are you going to break it?"

The empath grinned harder, unnaturally stretching her mouth across her face in ways that should have been physically impossible.

"And of your legs?"

"I find walking a pleasant pass-time activity."

"Ribs it is then," she replied before black tendrils encircled the hexcaster, denying her of breath and movement.

Raven watched as the life slowly began to seep out of the girl underneath her, an amused expression replacing the demented grin from moments ago.

"You mean to just lie there? Really?"

Jinx shot her a glare, her eyes almost boring the words ' _well there's not much else I can do is there?'_ into her head.

Raven waited a few more seconds, until Jinx squeezed her eyes shut, to loosen her grip.

The hexcaster's eyes flew open as her lungs filled with air once more in a heaving gasp.

The Titan constricted her magic once again, not enough to stop the HIVE student's breath, but enough to keep her uncomfortable.

Jinx remained silent, aware that they were far from playing the game of catch the thief that they had started an hour prior, and that they had ventured into the realm of Raven's domain as soon as Jinx had made the tactical error of choosing the roof as her means of escape. It had been the last apartment building in "good" section of Jump, and nothing but single story shanties could be seen on the other side, each progressively decaying worse from one house to the next.

The divide was clear in their city.

Raven expression flickered, catching her attention, and ten sharp nails embedded themselves into her shoulders, electing another gasp.

She hissed and glared at the Titan, who seemed to be content once again, now that her attention wasn't wandering.

Jinx bit her bottom lip, and flared up her powers.

It failed to help her any in the situation, but it made her _feel_ like she held more control.

The psion didn't seem at all bothered by it, and the hexcaster wondered why.

"Jinx."

It wasn't a question, nor a statement really, but the metahuman didn't reply, prompting the Titan to squeeze her tendrils tighter.

" _Jinx."_

" _What?"_ she replied raggedly, though if her tone had been too harsh or accusing the Titan failed to mention that either.

"You've yet to thank me."

The girl's eyebrow shot up in disbelief; "Really? Sorry, my bad, how does 'gee I'm thankful you've decided not to strangle me past my last breath' tickle you?"

She grimaced, her face returning to normal, and Jinx found the ugly expression on the otherwise beautiful face refreshing.

"Or how about 'thank you for throwing a bus on top of me, that really meant a lot!' sound?"

"Why do you think I let you go?" the psion snapped back, a tinge of a growl in her otherwise normal monotone.

The hexcaster fell silent again, debating her next move. She exhaled and tossed her head back against the pavement and shut her eyes. As she regained her composure she felt the tendrils loosen, though they lapped absently around her frame. She also felt the Titan sit back her legs still locked firmly around her abdomen.

"I'm sorry I inferred terrible things about your mother," Jinx said tiredly, as if she were speaking to a teammate, "I didn't know it was a sore point and I'm grateful that you let me limp back home after you threw a shuttle bus on top of me. Which I deserved," she amended, her eyes fluttering open again, "I'm also thankful that you haven't choked me to death. Although the multiple sets of teeth thing _was_ a little disturbing, so if I can't sleep tonight I am thoroughly blaming you on that one."

"Do you often dream of me Jinx?" she asked with an almost innocent smirk.

Another shiver ran down her spine, and this time she blamed it on the Titan on top of her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health and our happiness."  
> — Dale Carnegie

She supposed that spending the evening wandering lukewarm streets in the faintest lights of streetlamps, crumbling brick, and rabbit-eared televisions wasn't one of the worst ways to spend an evening by yourself.

Truly, she had spent many worse nights in many worse places, all filled with shoddier things and even shoddier substances.

Like the factory where Plasmus once guzzled so much toxic waste that the town almost rejoiced from the new health inspection rating. Or the time Mad Mod had mind controlled them into thinking they were all trapped in his monochromed hell school. 

She’d also toss in the time Silkie exploded all over the city streets, coating them in mutated moth guts and Starfire’s cooking as a pretty hefty contender in the list. 

Her mind turned a dark corner, and her thoughts grew bleak in memory; the cold hours before the break of dawn, huddled under sheets having remained awake for days with a stomach clenched in turmoil as her thoughts and fears turned against her, rendering her powerless and silent; a process repeated so often that bile began to rise whenever she thought of it.

...The shear amount of hours wasted in the sewers could have made the top of the list for that matter she supposed.

She paused as she neared the end of the street and watched a lonesome traffic light flicker in its strive for purpose and wondered how many times it had been victim of street brawls and reckless behavior or whether she had ever borrowed it for leverage in a skirmish, disrupting it from its predestined duty.

A hiss escaped through her clenched teeth and the heat curled around her nose.

The city did not care for duty, and her eyes narrowed, nor did its inhabitants care what vandalism or tragedy occurred as long as their status remained the same from day to day.

Public property was held as sacrifice to private dominion and personal contingency, and her own team perpetrated this reality with as much conviction as their rivals.

Their city could have been beautiful, meaningful even, as Azarath once had been.

But through actions of the mischievous and greedy, countermeasures had to be quick and effective, leaving nothing but nothing but collateral in its wake.

Her powers flared, her fist clenched, and with a sickening crunch the traffic light was collapsed on itself, leaving a crumpled heap of metal and colored glass as tears of rage slid from the psion's cheeks.

She turned and left the light to its demise, promising that the next villain she faced would meet a similar fate.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.  
> ― George Carlin

Short semi-rounded fingernails sliced through the mud with more ease than a knife through melted butter, and when the muck caked itself in her palm she allowed it to drip softy back to earth with slow quiet plops and cast her eyes back to the wreckage in the street with a tried halfhearted flicker of concern.

The damage to the road would cost the taxpayers thousands to repair and the storefront would all have to be redone, though she doubted anyone would be able to get that far unless they had fire insurance policies already in place.

A fire hydrant was another victim; its cap and torso rent asunder and lying among the remains of a black four door sedan across the street in the car lot, which was allowing its water to geyser and soak everything in its wake, including her.

It would have to be completely replaced she mused.

A clamor from behind the other cars caught her attention and she pulled herself up as she caught a whisper of pink streak between trashcans and car parts.

As she stood, catching the last traces of purple striped stockings and flouncing pigtails her attention was brought back to the large robot sparking dangerously near the open water.

With two options presented in front of her, both firm in her duty to the public, she sighed and prepared to face the immediate threat and gathered her thoughts; the robot would be both insurmountably heavy and cumbersome as well as terribly draining on her soulself.

She paused before her magic enveloped the creation and stopped.

She'd let her leader handle this one.

And with message marked 'important' on his communicator, the psion decided to catch the last of the poetry reading that she had missed for this caper in the first place and in doing so, missed the the flash of pink skittering in the darkness down the street.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All war is deception.  
> Sun Tzu

Blood and sweat coated her tongue and her dislocated knee protested strongly at her decision to work through the pain rather that not to succumb to it.

This was getting into a very bad habit.

She dodged another attack and countered with all the vigor of a slighted jouster, this time not caring how hard she hit or how much she hurt her opponent.

And her hits were capable of hitting very hard indeed.

Raven balked slightly at the renewed fervor of her intensity but remained diligent in her endeavor to either capture or incapacitate her; the Titan's blows becoming just as reckless, just as violent.

The feeling of dislocating the girl's jaw was especially satisfying to hear, though she wasn't entirely sure the punch to her gut had been worth it.

Jinx landed on the ground, an arm wrapped around her middle with her lip held dangerously between her teeth. Her pain in her knee replaced by adrenalin and desperate tinted hate.

Her eyes clamped shut as she felt her body be lifted and hurled threw the air to land jarringly against the concrete and that was when the hexcaster decided that enough was enough.

Jinx got to her feet just as Raven readied herself to attack again, and the H.I.V.E. student roared in indignant fury before hurling a massive hex at the Titan which sent the girl sailing backwards into the building behind her, causing a cloud of dust and brick to tumble down upon her.

Jinx bolted forward and grabbed the girl by her costume with a vicious snarl painted on her face; Raven groaned and Jinx hoisted her up, pinning her to the wall with a thud as Raven's head slapped against the brick, dazing her further.

"WHAT. THE.  _ HELL. _ IS.  _ WRONG _ . WITH. YOU."

The Titan snarled, almost weakly, and refrained from answering which further angered the hexcaster.

She tightened her grip and her breath heaved through clenched teeth as she raged, and for the first time, actually considered killing someone.

Her body shook and her normally perky pink hair hung limp.

Raven's expression was grimset, her arms hung at her sides as she slouched as much as she was able, and her eyes betrayed no further emotion.

Tears bubbled behind candy pink eyes and Jinx made no motion to quell them or their slow descent across her cheeks.

" _ Why?" _

At this the Titan replied softly, "Why what? _ " _

The only reply the hexcastor could think to reply with, was to press her lips harshly against Raven's, if only to prove something that she couldn't put into words and didn't completely understand.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."  
> Mae West

"You play in the street, dance around the traffic and swim along broken glass, and then you have the nerve to get upset when your luck runs out and one of them decides to hurt you."

Her hand trails gently along the hem of the deeply frayed dress until it reaches the slender thigh that was left uncovered by striped stockings tattered at the knees and littered with runs. The pink was covered with ash and the skin concealed with burns.

"Technically the pedestrian always has the right of way," Jinx replied quietly after licking the blood from her bottom lip, toying with the spilt for a few seconds until the stinging gained enough intensity to stop the action from continuing further.

"But that would imply that you abide by the laws of the road, if any laws at all."

Instead of replying the hexcaster chose to close her eyes; the feel of the brick behind her was reassuring. She found herself wondering if the psion intended to inspect the damage and whether the break was bad enough to keep her content, or if their last encounter all those days ago had warranted a more repetitious punishment.

"The law of the lawless is its own survival of the fittest."

Raven nodded somberly, though it went unnoticed.

Jinx hissed through clenched teeth when she felt Raven's hand press against the break in her leg, igniting a searing pain before it was replaced with a long and overwhelmingly cold burn that seeped into her very bone. The hiss was followed by a sigh and Jinx tossed a glance at her leg, which was no longer stuck at an awkward angle.

Grateful, though curious, she turned to look at the Titan.

"Any reason, or…"

For once the empath remained in passive silence, and if Jinx had been feeling particularly poetic, she could have ventured that the girl looked remotely remorseful.

"I," she began, which piqued the hexcaster's curiosity, but she then allowed the statement to trail off into silence and focused on the building where they had been seconds ago.

Wordlessly they both watched the fire consume the structure as if it were the embodiment from hell itself, sent on attaining retribution from the very stone at its core with bilious fury, the smoke stinging their eyes and the heat drenching them in sweat.

They sat together, watching, until the sound of sirens wailed through the night and the pair stood dutifully; Jinx testing her leg for residual pain before the incoming apprehension, and Raven for the absurd idea she held in mind.

She turned to face the hexcaster and took hold of her shoulder, causing the girl's expression to contort into a grim set frown. She wasn't looking forward to being incarcerated, interrogated, and then squashed into an iron cage.

_ " _ Jinx _ ,"  _ the emapth shouted.

At that the girl jumped within her skin, not used to hearing the commanding tone in such a rushed manner without an accompaniment of black-soul energy or swift kick to the face being hurled into her direction.

The look on the Titan’s face was jarring; in the glint of the fire’s glow, with a genuine expression on her face, Jinx realised the Titan looked  _ alive _ .  

"Yeah?" was all she could reply. 

" _ Run. _ "


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood."  
>  George Orwell, 1984

Jinx finally had her at her mercy.

Her teeth were pressed as hard into her neck as the hexcaster could manage when the psion moaned.

Loudly.

And so utterly  _ guttural _ that it was both  _ decadent _ and  _ vulgar _ .

She released her oral hold on the Titan and pulled her head up far enough to see that the empath was taken aback, and  _ afraid _ .

Jinx almost didn't stop herself from chuckling, but, feeling bad for the girl she slid her knee further and allowed her weight to fall onto the empath's abdomen while she gave the girl's arm a jarring twist.

The gasps in reply settled in the pit of Jinx's stomach as she smiled.

She understood the game now.

With a feral smile she bit as hard as her bruised jaw would allow.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is no sinner like a young saint.  
>  Aphra Behn

Back and forth and round again, repelling each other only to end up colliding twice as hard and thrice as fast as the last round they dared to dance, and she had to admit that they were getting their fair share of knowledge about the inner workings of run down alleyways and abandoned basements.

Rooftop forays were checkpoints in their dance and movie theaters never crossed their minds.

Raven needed to  _ feel _ .

Something.

_ Any _ thing.

And she just wanted to feel  _ alive _ .

Together, they  _ lived _ . 

Together, they  _ thrived. _

Over the course of several months their dance was perfected.

Refined.

Utter chaos trussed up as poshly as any military regiment.

Sometimes it began with a brilliant bank heist. Jinx planning for weeks, picking where to strike, plotting out what her teammates would take, mapping out how her teammates would escape, and the part that took the most planning of all, how to separate herself and the empath from their respective groups.

It was usually far more spring of the moment than it sounded, a convenience store robbed here, a burger joint held up there; although it still took at least a night prior to work out. 

Mostly they seemed to work themselves out, as both teams were deep rooted into habit.

No one ever bothered to question how many times the empath went careening after the hexcaster as if hellbent on her destruction. Nor did her teammates inquire how long such missions seemed to take. Or why the thief escaped as many times as she was caught.

The empath mentioned casually that it was a petty concern in comparison to her leader's unyielding fixation on Slade’s destruction, and they were both silently grateful for it.

Other times, on occasion, and without warning, wheather in the dead of night or in the rustle on the afternoon, Raven would find her. 

Within seconds they'd be pressed against some wall in some alleyway or else in pressed together inside some tiny photobooth or once, in a darkly lit club dropping heavy base lines that almost pumped their hearts for them, they danced without the pain of fists and war drums and instead let themselves be ruled by primal pleasure dictated by the beat of the strobe lights.

Those times were rawer almost, borne out of pure unfiltered need that held no pretense.

It was during those moments that Jinx was left in a fond awe of the Titan, who came to her in such righteous  _ furious _ anger that she always wondered if the moment was to be her last, and then, somewhere in the middle of it, she would relent, and as Jinx soon discovered, if pressed enough,  _ surrender _ .

Jinx had always wondered what true power tasted like.

And at the times where the empath melted into her hands and  _ shuddered _ as she left thin trails of broken skin, Jinx realized that it tasted a lot like sin.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit."  
> Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray

It had been weeks since she'd seen her.

Months actually, since she had felt the otherworldly sensation of dark matter ghosting across her flesh or the bone deep bruises left in the wake of soft porcelain hands tipped with black manicures and fine points. Three months since her vision swam with swathes of violet at the edges of her consciousness and the pain of digging her teeth so hard into the empath's flesh that her teeth would ache.

Months since they'd had any sort of physical altercations, but weeks now, that she'd actually seen the violet haired Titan.

Her team had pulled a few good heists.

Some were stopped by the Titans, and during a few of them, the Titans hadn't even bothered to show up.

Raven hadn't so much as looked at her in the one battle they had shared.

Jinx had assumed it was retribution for one of their personal battles and thought nothing of it until weeks later when no signs of change had occurred.

After that first battle, Robin was the one to dodge her blows and smack her into submission.

She almost killed him the first time they fought.

Narrowly avoided sending him into cardiac arrest when she realized that she was about to pump a shit ton of hex energy into his chest. She had redirected the blast to go over his shoulder and into the car behind him and backsprung across the street to get some distance from the almost murder.

She had forgotten how much power she and the empath slung around at each other.

Punches so strong that non-metas heads could be popped clean off if not severely damaged for life.

Hexes so strong that a normal human's organs would simply cease to function under the stress.

Soul matter so constricting and maneuverable that half the time it was choking her from the inside her own lungs rather than from around her chest, though Raven had liked that too.

She had chalked it up to coincidence the next three times she was paired off with Titan's leader instead of the empath and assumed that if they could not meet in battle then the girl would simply seek her out of her own accord when she next felt overcome by her own emotions.

After the fifth time, with still no visit from the empath, Jinx caught on that something was different when she couldn't coax the Raven away from her teammates.

And she still wouldn't look at her.

Hadn't spoken to her.

Hadn't pulled her hair so taught that it left her scalp feeling raw for hours afterwards.

It had been three months since her fingernails held the scent of anything but the charcoal of her sketches and the scent of ill gotten gains underneath them. She used to spend hours in the bathtub cleaning out under each one, trying to rid them of the scent of the violet eyed empath and the dried blood that would linger there.

Now she spent the time freeing them from alley sludge and brickdust.

There were rumors in the underground that something was on the horizon and that whatever it was, was going to be really,  _ really _ , bad.

The last time she had seen Raven, she had been littered in red marks; marks that didn't resemble the kind left by fingernails at all. 

She'd steal something from the Justice League themselves if she could just get the violet haired empath out of her mind forever.

Or have the violet eyed girl's scent under her fingernails once more.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."  
> J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

It was strange, knowing that she along with the rest of the world had died.

Knowing that only sheer willpower had saved them all.

It was even stranger knowing that someone believed in her.

Believed in her enough to give her  _ hope _ .

The rose smelled so strong that she had to stop herself from coughing whenever she pressed it to her nose.

She wondered how fast it would take for her to go blind, were she to choose to venture into the light. 

Not fast enough, she thought, as the flower’s thorns began to prick her fingers. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope is a waking dream.  
> Aristotle

She stayed silent and unmoving throughout the entire explanation without expression or inhalation of breath.

It was only when he roped his arm around her side and pulled her towards him that the empath displayed any notion of being alive. Her eyes, which until this moment had remained empty and passive, now burned through her quietly and completely. When she lifted her face ever so slightly, as if she were a passerby strolling through a particularly well scented garden on a summery afternoon, Jinx understood instantly that the game between them was no longer the same.

It had  _ changed _ .

Whatever it once was, ended, and what was to remain of it was to be cast adrift and stay unspoken of in any conversation.

She had been prepared for tendon ripping opposition and blood speckled tears and found her chest constricting of its own accord as the team in front of her erupted into contagious camaraderie. As they began welcoming her into their life she found tears bubbling up from her throat. One by one bonds were formed and pleasantries exchanged until the empath was all that remained.

She had changed the game.

And she was afraid of the repercussions.

Terrified and exhilarated.

The empath allowed one final piece of emotion to portray itself; a smile, soft and genuine, before she too walked forward to embrace her as one of her own.

With breath tickling her ears so softly that Jinx wondered at how it was possible for her to have such an array of personality, the Titan whispered two words that all but shattered her soul:

" _ Good luck _ ."

She had been prepared for pain, but as the empath dissipated into nothingness, she found that she was ecstatic to have been presented with  _ hope _ .

It felt like her upper intestines had just been ripped out of her body with brute force.

She felt Wally pull her close again and spent the next conversation in a blissful attempt to stop choking on her tongue.

  



	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."  
> F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby

_ Oh gods _ , she thought,  _ she shouldn't still want this. _

They shouldn't be doing this.

She shouldn't have sought her out.

The empath had remained respectful of her choice.

Had remained passive in the background of her life, as if she was never quite in range and never quite interested.

Right up until the hexcaster had pinned her against the blue gym mat and kissed her so hard their lips had bruised. Dug her hands into the soft violet strands and  _ pulled. _

It had been heated.

_ Needed. _

Reciprocated.

No fists were punched and no ribs were crushed.

But neither of them had stopped until the limbs were sore and their bodies were battered.

When their breaths came tattered and ragged, barely able to keep themselves from simply passing into unconsciousness on the floor, they looked at each other.

No promises were made.

No words spoken.

But it was understood that their game, although different -softer,  _ hushed _ , was still being played.

And they both had agreed to the terms and conditions.

They had been more careful after that, slower.

Planned around meetings and patrols.

Shopping trips and slumber parties worn as disguises and tight lipped explanations abounded.

If no one asked, neither of them had to tell.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me take you for a ride  
> With the devil in the details  
> We'll kiss and tremble with delight  
> Everything is fine  
> -Devil in the Details, Placebo

When you answered your door tears were streaming down her face.

Even when you were fist deep and had her screaming your name she had never looked so utterly  _ human _ and the realization startled you as if you had just witnessed your reflection moving of its own accord.

When she stepped forward and grabbed you, _hugged_ _you_ , admittedly your first thought was that one of your teammates had kicked the dust and you began preparing yourself for the news.

And then she looked up at you, with nothing but gratitude in her eyes and utter relief on her lips.

She thanked you.

Your heart had never pulled off so many acrobatic maneuvers in your life.

You quickly learned that she had taken the books you left on her bedside table to heart.

You also found that she was so  _ proud _ to show you what she had learned.

So  _ relieved _ to know what she was feeling was something  _ human _ .

That the dance you both had been tangling each other up in wasn't something ugly or shameful or wrong.

That they were fine.

That _ she _ was fine.

Normal even.

Or at least, something close enough to work with.

And she was an impeccable learner; your old headmaster would have sold several limbs for such a dedicated student, and you quickly found yourself thinking similarly.

Her offer was tantalizing.

Her contract direct.

_ The way out is clear _ , she reminds you later and then again and then once more still, " _ always there." _

The presence of a word you could name set you both at such an ease it was almost like a release in itself.

You were still leaving trails of marks along each other's flesh, still fighting to feel alive and to be on top, still doing everything in your powers to rip the rest of the world out of each other's heads, but now the game was refined once more.

Fine tailored like a three piece suit, and the seams fit  _ so snug _ you were surprised that you weren't wearing a second skin.

And there were words to  _ describe _ and words to  _ discuss _ and  _ illuminate _ and  _ connect _ and  _ reform _ and to  _ illustrate  _ and to _ heal _ .

The two of you now conversed as you danced.

It was a beautiful way to fill the air between screams.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With the devil in the details  
> We're gonna dance with him tonight.  
> -Devil in the Details, Placebo

You never told her that you had just wondered what she could accomplish with something normal like fifteen square feet of rope and a ball gag.

After the third time of testing her stop reflex, the third time of watching her smile while she retained self control, you promised yourself that you never would.

Instead, you drug your nails against her thighs and told her to show you a good time.

…

She showed you several.

 


End file.
